Spirited Away

I’m not crying. I can’t cry. There’s a million little and big things I could be doing but nothing comes forth except a desire to just… Sit and stare. Nothing in my agenda seems important enough to get me out of this chair. Mom is gone. Mom is gone! Forever! The apple of my eye, gone. Never more will I taste her fantastic cooking, never again to have her run her fingers through her baby’s hair. Never again to hear her soft humming of a favorite tune from her own youth as she worked on this or that chore. Never again will I be able to look over and see her quietly sitting in her corner, cooling off to the ocean breeze as she watched her favorite TV show. Never again to hear her hearty laughter, see her beautiful eyes crinkle in that way. Mom epitomized the successful life to me. The truly successful person who lived according to her good conscience transparently, having no regrets. With every ounce of her being she raised eight great children essentially by herself - and still had time to love all of us as if each were an only child. And she raised us right: she taught us about being a good person, about loving our families, cherishing our friends, respecting our elders, caring about our neighbors and helping the downtrodden. She taught us about savoring life - living the moment with gusto, and enjoying the things that count. We all came out alright - maybe not doctors or diplomats, but decent members of society nonetheless. She’s probably the noblest person I ever knew, the closest thing to a saint I’ll ever meet. Her passing leaves the world a lot emptier - I feel like nature itself should be grieving and I’m a little disturbed that outside looks just like any other day. Don’t they know my mother has passed away?!? What am I going to do now? I always miss her while I’m here and she’s back home, in PR… But now that I can’t go see her anymore I’m beside myself. Mom, I wish you could see how my life turns out. Even though we’ve talked and talked and said everything that needed to be said, I wish I could say it all over again.

I love you, mom.

Oh yes, somewhere along my writing I found my tears.

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Just watched the movie 12 Monkeys again on Sunday. I’d forgotten what an engrossing, imaginative, visually-rich, affecting film that is. I mean, this is sci-fi, right? Oyeah, and how poignant, too, that the story hinges on an incident of bioterrorism. I had forgotten about that when I went to rent it. Terry Gilliam rocks.

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As promised… Compromising images.

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I know this has nothing to do with anything but, how often do you have a helicopter just up and land in your front yard? Right, us neither: notice the Rose Parade that immediately assembled. This happened sometime in July, I think.

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Word to the wise: when you update your favorite program make a point to read up on how the new features work, so you don’t end up breaking something.