Five Years… But Who’s Counting?
Mom died five years ago. Heh, five years later I still call her ‘Mom,’ but what other name would I use? Seems a strange time now to start using her given name. I suppose I’ll always relate to her memory with respect to our relationship together. I try to live a normal life but inevitably — something in the change of season, perhaps? — causes a dark, melancholy mood to settle over me round mid-September. Sometime early October I remember that Mom’s ‘anniversary’ is coming up, and I wonder again for the first time whether there’s any correlation. I even wore all black today, with no conscious plan. I’m not sure when the mood finally lifts, or if it ever does, completely. You’d think my micromanaging self would’ve charted it out by now. Even now, it’s not all doom and gloom, though. I receive joy, pleasure, euphoria, satisfaction from life and from all the beautiful people I am privileged to call friends and family. To you, my heartfelt thanks. You make it all worthwhile. And a plea for sufferance: this funk will end soon enough. It has to.
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